I've recently returned to conducting funeral services, after a few months' break for health reasons. My brief career as a wedding celebrant is over. Thanks so much to the couples who trusted me with the beginning of their marital adventures! And to the Shetland Registrar, who was so helpful to me and offers to my mind the best ceremonial bargain in the isles for nuptials…
In the decade since I began working with the excellent Shetland undertakers Goudies, the funeral services I've done have ranged from fully Christian, with hymns and prayers, to entirely secular, with forays into Buddhism and various tinges of godliness and/or unbelief along the way.
I wrote and published a book during the Covid pandemic called It Tolls for Thee: Celebrating and Reclaiming the End of Life that provides resources to help prepare for death and also for the bereaved to conduct or plan a funeral service without priestly or ministerial intervention. It's widely available and can be purchased on Amazon.
My aim when working with a family on a loved one's funeral is always to fulfil the wishes of the folk who've lost someone. The only agenda I bring is to help and comfort, and I want to reflect the beliefs of the bereaved.
My own background is essentially Christian and these days I am very comfortable expressing that in public. I've come to the conclusion that Humanism with a capital 'H' is just as much a religion as fundamentalist Christianity, and can be every bit as hardline and divisive. I’m not interested in that kind of aggressive, confrontational faith, be it godly or ungodly. I should say that my former, delightful associates at the ‘spiritual humanism’ group Celebrate People were and are lovely, inclusive and open to religious content in services. I wish them every blessing!
Funeral services that make no mention whatsoever of God and reflect the atheism or agnosticism of the person who has died, and his or her family, are as fine with me as those that contain prayers or elements of the Roman Catholic liturgy. For me it's about providing words that mark the end of life in a dignified, honouring, reassuring and memorable way. If that means poetry by John Cooper Clarke or Emily Dickinson; from the Psalms, Daniel O'Donnell or Das Kapital, that’s perfect all right.
The family reads exactly what will be said by me in advance. There are, or should be, no surprises.
As for fees, I am aware that most 'Humanist' or secular celebrants do charge a set amount for conducting a funeral, often plus expenses, and collected via the funeral director. That is absolutely fine and I have done that in the past (for a time I was the only person in Shetland conducting non-religious funerals and was essentially employed by Goudies, who provided clothing and transport). I should say that Church of Scotland ministers and approved Kirk celebrants do not charge at all. There is no fee for Roman Catholic priests though a donation to the church is traditional.
I'm now in my 70s, and our family is relatively comfortable. I have been both a councillor and community councillor, pretty bad at both, but reasonably OK over the decades at writing and speaking. Words have been good to me, and so has Shetland. I now feel that providing words for funerals should for me be a kind of community service. I know some people feel a desire to pay, and I suggest they provide a donation to the Shetland Food Bank, which can be done online at this website: shetlandfoodbank.org.uk . But there’s no obligation.
I have no official connection with the Trussell Trust or the Shetland Food Bank, save a desire to support their efforts.
I hope this helps clarify my situation. Please feel free to get in touch if you'd like to discuss any of this further.
thebeatcroft@gmail.com
